It's been exactly 1 month since my last post. I haven't exactly been on schedule with the updates...sorry about that. All that aside, summer is finally here! Finally here in Seattle we get to see the sun and enjoy some warm weather for a change. A lot of things have happened in the past month, which is kinda crazy because the month has gone by so fast...I guess I didn't realize how much goes on so quickly.

Deanna finally began law school which seemed to be incredibly difficult not only on her, but on me as well. I started doing stupid things, like e'mailing other girls, having doubts in Deanna and my relationship...my mind was scattered. Eventually one night I told her that I didn't wanted to be single, so that I wouldn't hurt her in the future. In my head, I wanted to be WITH her, but so many things were unclear, and I just felt as if being single would be the right thing for me to do. I still loved her at the time, however I realized that I was subconsciously building myself a cushion due to her going into law school. I knew that Deanna's main priority was going to be school, which I was having a hard time accepting. I thought that eventually she'd drift away from me, as if she wouldn't have time for me, or she wouldn't need me because of her career....and even more off on the deep end, I began to think about how much time it would take...the 3 years of law school. To me, 3 years is a long time, especially in my condition and all...Would I be able to go 3 years of barely being able to SEE Deanna? What experiences would I be missing if I just tied myself down for those years? But more importantly, would we still be together after those years?

All these thoughts were fluttering around in my head, and eventually we had a melt down discussion filled with all SORTS of emotions regarding our relationship. What it got down to is that I finally was able to feel comfortable with Deanna without needing to experience other things. I've got a few unanswered questions when it comes to girls in my past, and it seemed like I just wanted to know the answers to those questions...But ultimately I understood one final thing...That Deanna was my path. That I didn't need to search for the answers any more, but that I needed to just undergo the challenge with her, just as she's undergone the main challenge with me.

So yeah, that was pretty much the BEGINNING of the month! I also started working at the law office that Deanna works at too! It's been a great experience, everyone is very nice and my coworkers are all about my age so that's a bonus too. It's pretty much your typical filing job where you file documents in their corresponding places, do various other projects for paralegals and such...it's VERY laid back, and I love it so far.

I've been getting a bit sick lately which sucks. Congested, lack of appetite, feverish, tight in my chest, low energy, low motivation....UGH things can hit hard and quick when I get sick. I've been trying to kick it off with some Tobi, and I plan to get back on my feeds when I kick this off...I'm just hoping that it's going to be in time for Evo.

Evolution is just around the corner in 6 days....I fly out on the 16th and don't come back till the 20th (Deanna I'm gonna MISS YOU!). I'm VERY excited for it, and I just can't explain how much fun it'll be. To be honest, I haven't been practicing much for the tournament as of the past week. I've taken it very easy really...I've been playing Final Fantasy 7 a lot to take my mind off of the fevers and pressures of practice. As I was telling Deanna, I just don't think that there's anything that I'm going to learn from here until Evo that's going to be SO GROUND BREAKING that it'll put me over the edge of the competition.

It's kinda like how me and Mandel and Apoc were talking one night about the NBA Finals. Mandel was saying that the Magic was practicing a LOT before the finals in order to prepare themselves for the Lakers. Meanwhile the Lakers were just relaxing, chillin out, waiting for finals to come. Game 1 happens, and the Magic gets crushed by the Lakers by (what I think was) a 20 point deficit. Apoc said something to this theme as well, it was more in Street Fighter terms though. He was telling us how he remembered that at one Evolution, he saw one of the Wolfe Brothers (arguably one of the best ST players in the US) play 8 hours before the tournament itself. Now from what I remembered, he was CHAMPION of the last Evo, yet was STILL not confident in his ability, that he needed to put in this extra work to somehow get that competitive edge.

So with all the examples given, let me give you MY OWN example real quick, better yet an analogy. For those familiar with Dragon Ball Z (hahahah, didn't see that one coming did ya?), there is a time where Cell pretty much says "Fight me at this tournament...if you beat me, I won't destroy the planet." Now what does the smart HERO (Goku) do? He trains for a bit, then 1 week before the tournament, he takes his son (Gohan, who is also a fighter in the tournament) and they go hang out with their family all week. What do the OTHER fighters do? All these other fighters are taking turns practicing in this place called the "Hyperbolic Time Chamber" where you can spend 1 day in it, but it's the equivalent of 1 year...But basically, yeah they're spending EVERY SINGLE DAY PRACTICING...Trying to becomes stronger. But at the end of the tournament, who wins? Gohan...one of which who took it easy.

Coming into such an event with this extended amount of pressure: "I've worked SO HARD, I GOTTA do good!" This is only going to deter your game I believe. I think that one of the best things to do before a critical event like this, is to let your subconscious mind rest and take in everything that's been going on. Don't force upon practice, don't try to push yourself to a point that is going to make you burn out...let things flow naturally, and give your mind and body the ability to rest.

Well, I'll come back to you with another post after evo!

- Michael

Take a step back!

So I suppose that this is my first entry. Basically I made this blog in order to give updates as to how my life's going from time to time. I put so much time into my other blog (strictly Street Fighter 4...seriously video games are serious business!), that I was getting jealous when I'd read Mandel's or Deanna's blogs. All they write about is whatever comes to mind, and I was saying to myself "Hey! I want that kind of space to write too!" So I ended up making another blog and named it "Reality of Perception." Cool name right? If you knew me you'd know that as of recently, I've been kind of obsessed with understanding life and it's mysteries...the name won't come to a shock to some, but to others I can see why a lot of people would say "What's up with this name? He think he's creative or something?" To answer, NO, I don't think I'm creative, it's just something that I love to talk and think about! Anyways, I'm just going to branch away from all of that, and let the intro end here...lets go on to talk about whats been going on in my life recently.

The weekend was just like any other...Street Fighter tournaments galore, spending time with the lady, hanging out with the friends, all the regular stuff. The Street Fighter part of my life has gotten a bit crazy. Summer's finally here, and with it nears Evolution so close (the world's largest fighting game tournament in the world). I'll be attending Evo this year (my first time attending) in hopes to show that Seattle is buff, that I'm good, and to push myself to new heights. All that aside, the scene over here has been getting pretty nuts because of Evo coming up so soon. The 5v5 is a classic example.

Basically, at Evo, there will be a "Regional Exhibition" that's being called "The 5v5 Street Fighter 4 Regional Exhibition." Basically there's 6 region's...Pacific North, Pacific South, South West, Northwest (SEATTLE BABY!), Midwest, Atlantic South, and Atlantic North. So on top of that, each region is selected a captain, who then decides WHO will participate in the 5v5 tournament. So to put everything simply...each region chooses their 5 competitors, and come Evo, we all play against each other to see who the strongest region is. NOW...how does this affect our scene? Two words: Drama, and Politics.

A whole lot of drama is brought into the scene because NOW, we have to actually prove to each other who's "worthy" of getting on the team. Ego's get bruised (or some uplifted), feelings get hurt, it's not a pretty thing, because essentially it kind of pushes us away from the "scene" aspect, and it brings us to the "competitor" aspect of things. At the same time, it's almost completely contradictory, as this is a TEAM based effort. I mean honestly, everyone now has something to prove, yet the team aspect is completely lost while one's ego is trying to prove itself.

Now I also said "politics." Everything recently became VERY political in the aspect of HOW to choose the 5. Now, it's only fair to give everyone a chance, however at the same time, not EVERYONE should even HAVE A CHANCE, because of various reasons (not good enough, or can't go to evo, etc.). So now you take into perspective, we have to make a good way so that everyone gets a chance, WHILE AT THE SAME TIME trying to have a team of the best/strongest possible 5. At the same time, there comes the argument of, the team doesn't decide how good team Northwest is...singles does that too (by "singles" I mean competing in Evo as just one person...remember this "5v5" is merely an exhibition, purely for bragging rights and nothing else.). For example, say that I don't get on the team, yet I do well in singles and place top 16...have I not put Seattle on the map? Have I not proved that Seattle is good? It would surprise me to not hear a person say "Wow, Mike did really good in singles...I wonder why HE wasn't on the 5v5 team!" What it really gets down to is that this is for the NORTHWEST REGION...not for a personal ego boost to show how good you are to everyone....not to get on the Evo DVD (a DVD that comes out every year that highlights the best parts of the 3 day event). People have lost track that this is for our region, and not for personal gain. UGH! It's a cluster fuck if I've ever seen one!!!!

Street Fighter being my biggest hobby, I'm up on it all, however personally I try not to let the drama and politics sway me. I'm my own player, and recently have learned that I don't really play to show others I'm good...I play to show myself that I'm good! I play so that I can learn, and challenge myself. The 5v5 seemed to make a lot of people lose track of that...I've still got my eyes set on the prize...personal gain!

So, away with Street Fighter...lets talk about the lady for a bit. Within the past 2 weeks I have been completely enamoured with my beautiful girl friend Deanna. I don't know what happened but when I left to Portland (for a SF tournament nonetheless hahaha), I realized how much I love her. Ever since I've been back, every second I spend with her is just pure happiness. All of a sudden I'm so much more affectionate to her, my want to help her with anything has been rekindled...it feels like I fell in love again. For instance, every time she comes home from work now, I'm just WAITING for her to be in my arms! I can't wait until she gets home any more...but before, things were kinda stale....I wasn't excited to see her from work, and I would sometimes get upset over little things after she came home. But it really seems like that ever since we spent that little time apart, things have become so fresh again.

I sometimes think "if things are so fresh now, can they become old again?" I definitely don't outright that possibility...it's only logical right? I guess that's what love is though. Knowing how to remain new and fresh, even when things have become old and stale. It's silly because while THAT part in our relationship was happening...I was also falling in a slump in Street Fighter as well....Now what's the importance in that? It seemed like my life in general was just falling into a stagnate state....After I realized how to get out of my slump in Street Fighter, I got out of my slump with Deanna....Everything has become new, and fun....but most importantly FULFILLING! Everything is going great with her and me.

As far as my health goes, I recently got put on antibiotics last week (looks like I fell into a slump THERE as well). Things are going much better, I'm trying to stay consistent with everything...I'm on 4 antibiotics which can get kind of difficult to remember (aside from the other oral meds and treatments that I do) to take consistently. I'm gradually getting there though. I'm always amazed at how much better life is when I'm healthy compared to when I'm sick. I just can't wait to be able to experience summer at the prime of my health.

Over all, I was living in a stagnate slump for a bit there. I was enveloped in it and didn't even realize it. When I was having troubles with my relationship, I started having troubles in my health, which carried onto Street Fighter as well. Eventually, Deanna and I had a talk (about my SF slump), and it made me realize that there are some things that I can't achieve off of pure talent. In that....there are some things that I still need to work on as a person (or as a player in SF), to become more successful (or to win more often!). I took a deep look at myself, and began to reevaluate myself. It first began with our relationship. I tried to do things differently in order to make Deanna more happy. Then it carried on to SF....I looked at some of the strategies I had, and realized that they weren't working....I began to fine tune those strategies and look at how I could become a better player. It then carried on towards my health, where I began writing a daily schedule....in doing so, I began to achieve consistency in my meds....more calories when I ate....I even began exercising!

My life wasn't moving forward, so I took a step back with it, instead of trying to fight it and pull it with me. After taking that step back, I could finally understand what I needed to change. After I changed it...life's been great.

- Michael